Sunday, September 04, 2005

Right now I feel really emotional. Not sad, but just brimming with emotion. Like I could tear really easily or something. I've realised despite all those plans to get back with God, I've done a pretty rubbish job. I miss you Lord! I miss having that confidence in you. I miss having the reassurance that everything's going to be ok. I miss knowing what it's like to be touched by you.
There is something though, that has awoken after being long dorment within me, and thats a desire to write and perform songs. Songs that connect with people, songs that are bearing the innermost feelings of my soul. I've written 2 this week. I love them both. I really do need to find some people to play them down with. I don't know why I've suddenly gone music mad. I guess I always have been, but never thought I'd be good enough....Maybe I'm still not, but you only live once. I'm going to try and do the impossible and aim to get these songs recorded somehow. I know it sounds like delusions of grandeur, but I have to at least try. I can't believe I'm actually writing this, and I don't know why it's suddenly come out in such a violent explosion.... Having all this time on my hands means I get to think alot...
Is this just my selfish desire to be famous? I dunno... I mean we were watching x-factor and seeing all those dreams smashed.... But then again at the same time I'm probably my own harshest critic, and I know that I wouldn't want to try this unless I really thought I had any possibility of succeeding . Its something only a few people can achieve, but I'm going to try.....
Gosh I can have very crazy thoughts sometimes.....

2 comments:

Johnny Canuck said...

Now you've got me thinking. I really enjoy this blog, I'll definitely pop around more often, keep it up!

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Craig said...

Hey thanks for taking the time to listen to my ramblings!

Appreciate it... Also checked out your site. It's really great to see what others are up to over the other end of this stretch of ocean :)