Wednesday, August 17, 2005

August and I'm finally home!


The longest gap ever!
Well I've got a great reason! Spent about 8wks away from home.
Latvia for 3wks, Timothy training, Graduation, Prague for 2wks and other various wonderful things have happened!
The biggest development was that on the day that I got back from Latvia I was informed that I got a bursary for the Oasis course, but the placement that ALOVE wanted me to go was Bradford Holmewood... Hmm
I've spent the following weeks trying to work out in my head if I wanted to travel, what God's calling was on my life (If there is an explicit one at all) and just how I would survive if I rejected Bradford, because no Bradford, No bursary!
Well I've come to the conclusion that God hasn't necessarily "called" me to a specific path. I believe it's more about Him equipping me with experiences and gifts and then giving me an opportunity to get stuck into his mission field that is the Earth. So I've decided that I will stay at Norwood. God is bigger than money, I need to trust that He will be there for me.
The next big thing is the fact that since all this theological training I've had over the past year, I've aquired a desturbing attitude that makes a mockery of any opinions that differ to the people who have taught me! A great example of this was in Prague where I have just come back from. The salvation army european youth congress was held there, and I recall many times when certain people spoke that I would simply joke about everything they said... THAT IS VERY WRONG
Lord give me grace and an OPEN MIND!
The last little thing is that since graduation from Timothy, I've had a mighty temptations from the female category of the human race. One particular was actually at the Youth congress of all places!.. I was basically faced with the choice of kissing this girl or not, but I decided it wasn't on at all... I mean was I already stuffing up on my motives for being there. I didn't want to make things worse. Also she lives in Latvia, and I live here. Slight problem. I wonder why I'm being so open? meh I don't care particularly. No sense in lying about things, and anyway, I need to journal this stuff so that I can look back on it from time to time.
So my next big prayer is about having more intimacy with God. I've finally got to the place where I've done so much mission that I'm maxed out on it! It seems that programme took over from the relationship with JC, and that was something I never ever wanted. So God! Forgive my foolish ways and lets please get back on track! I need you, I love, I praise you, I thank you! Thanks for getting me this far on the journey of a lifetime. Thanks for freewill to make my own decisions. Thanks for the awesome love that you still show me, despite the many times I've thrown it back in your face. Ps. I pray someone will contact me about Oasis etc! this week!

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