Monday, May 09, 2005

The three R's: Roots, Relationships and Rain

I thought it appropriate to feedback on my March 31st post:

Extract from March:
"Right well you know what? I'm just going to go with it and wait for God to totally smash my pre-conceptions. I'm writing this entry, so when I look back after the experience I can say:"Man I'm glad I did "Create" after all. I was totally blown away with how God used me and blessed me!" At the moment I'm feeling quite down about this. I really do hope that God shows me up on this. Lord please prove me wrong. I so want to be!!"

God I've got to praise you!! You totally did!! Wow it's so great now to look back and realise how awesome and humbling the whole experience was! The opportunity to pray and talk to people about their faith and what they want to see Jesus do in their lives - that's what Roots totally is about for me!
Lord of Lords I thank you for proving me wrong; for answering my prayers and using me like I asked. It was so tough to trust you in this, but you didn't fail me. You never do. Thanks for giving me such a humbling experience. I'm so often aware of how arrogant I can be.
I also need to say that I still got to be a Cell leader! Man what a Cell! we started with around 18 people and apparently we ended up with 28??? is that even possible?? Was a great time. Really affirming that God wants me to work alongside young people. It is a passion of mine. It is in His plan I'm sure.

I also got to meet a really lovely girl who was on the team. Spent Saturday with her in London. I'm wising up to the fact that though I did really like her, now is not the time to be thinking such things. I have priorities. I've also had pain in that area months before. I'm so not going to be walking that path again!! I have my whole life to sort out - girls are way down the list! Besides, I'm not sure if there was any chemistry anyway, but we had a great time all the same, and I really simply enjoyed spending time with a geniuine, lovely person who's around my age. I need that.

I'm preaching at my last youth church this Sunday. The theme is on Vision. Using Isaiah 6 as my text. Hmmm. Why do I constantly think about preaching??? It's almost driving me mad! It's what I wake up thinking about and go to sleep dreaming about. It's what I'm constantly asking God to help me in. It's one of the reasons I'm asking to hear His voice.... This is one part of my life that I need clarity on. If I am being called to preach in whatever capacity, I hope I get an answer soon. I also need to keep reading the bible! Something that I'm not too hot on since coming back from Roots... (just time-management etc.)

Yesterday was good. I decided to change the structure for the youth section of our sunday school so it became more like a small group format. Really believe God is doing some powerful stuff in our kids. Was great to hear everyone praying. Also went to Sutton Corps in the evening to hear a guy called Phil Laeger. He's this amazingly gifted worship leader, who played down some awesome songs that he wrote. A true inspiration to anyone who loves sung worship.

Starting to rain. I better get some food shopping done!

Saturday, May 07, 2005

I'm still here!!

Don't worry! I haven't gone off and done something I'd regret! I'm still alive and well and back on track now it seems! (Phew!)

April was a one of the tough ones... I got my self into the well of despair, and didn't think I'd get out again. Thankfully God heard me and reached me out with those almost elasticated arms of His

I've spent a good few couple of weeks reflecting on life and my ministry and all sorts of things. Things weren't right with God. I've still got some habitual sin in my life (Asking God to stamp it out!) and it infected other areas of my life. I find that when you're not in your relationship with God, all the other problems, anxieties, demons that you have seem to get amplified. Not anymore!! Thank you Lord for rescuing me! (again) Thanks for not giving up on me. Thanks for sending such wicked people to talk things through with me (Adam B, and Mark especially). Thanks for helping me come to terms with the relationship that dad and I have. Thanks for bringing healing into our lives. I can't thank you enough.

So in other words I'm doing ok! Getting myself more organised, writing up timetables and thinking of other ways to discipline myself into leading a more efficient and more importantly, effective life. Reflecting, praying and reading scripture is also immensely helpful. I'm studying the Book of Ecclesiastes (o/t) which is about the "Teacher" living apart from God and seeing how pointless life is without Him.

Roots was amazing and extremely humbling. How wonderful to pray and come alongside young people. How awesome to speak to people and witnessing how God is transforming their lives in powerful ways!! Frigging cool!!!!

The most important thing for me is that God is speaking again, or maybe I've unblocked my ears to hear him. I either way it's great. I'm still passionate about the whole preaching thing. How on earth do I intend to have God speak through me if I can't hear Him? Thankfully that's changing. I've just thought how much like Saul (o/t) I seemed in my last post (Read 1 Samuel and you'll know what I mean!) Now I feel more like David: I believe God has a calling on my life. I need to be obedient and strive to be a man after His own heart.

We're gonna do it together.